That Evil Elf on the Shelf

Meet Whimsey, our Elf on the Shelf. 

This is last year, when the first night he showed
up he brought the kids their own tiny
Christmas tree and ornaments.
He's not all bad.

Two Christmases ago, I gave in. Annie was 7. She wanted an elf. Badly. I thought about it, then, on a 'whim" I bought one. All $30 of him. We named him Whimsey. And this is his third year in our house.

I brought him home conflicted. You see, I was raised in a home where my parents never "did" Santa. We never did "North Pole" or reindeer. We never did elves. Our home was filled with traditions, but elves were not one.

Advent Tradition

We had an Advent wreath, and a felt calendar that my mom made. It was made up of 24 pockets, one for each day in December before Christmas. I remember waiting, with eager anticipation, every day to do the Adevent wreath. Not for the prayers. Not because I knew we were going to sing "O Come, o come, Emmanuel." Not because we got to light and blow out a candle (or two or three). I waited... for the candy.

There were five pieces of chocolate or taffy candy (you know the one - the delicious peppermint taffy that is white with red edges and a green tree in the center) in the pocket of the corresponding day. I wanted to be the one to get the candy out! I wanted to be the one to distribute it to my four siblings! I wanted to EAT. CANDY.

This is a tradition I carry on in my home today with my three children. We gather around the Advent wreath. We light the candle(s) for the week. We pray, and we sing O Come, o come, Emmanuel. And my children wait patiently because they know, at the end, they will get a piece of candy out of my homemade felt calendar. It is a beautiful tradition, and one I honor and respect and LOVE about my Catholic Christian home.

And, I know my kids want to do the Advent wreath because of the candy. As they grow older, this will change. They will begin to revere, to understand, to respect (or, God forbid, reject) the reason, the meaning, the purpose. But for now, they will associate Advent with being sweet. And I'm okay with that.

Santa Claus

My parents didn't "do" Santa. They never confirmed nor denied that he (he as in the fat man in a red coat with a flying sleigh and reindeer) existed. They made sure to make certain we knew that "Santa Claus" is a translation of "Saint Nicolas," the saint after whom the tradition of Santa was formed. We never had presents from Santa. Christmas morning each of us had a gift from Saint Nicolas. And one from Baby Jesus.

I carry that tradition on, too. I don't confirm or deny the red man. I've never told my kids that he does or doesn't exist - though I don't lie to my kids. If they ask, straight out, I either evade the truth or give it to them. But I don't ever say that Santa and the North Pole are real. Way I see it, I can't expect them to never lie to me if I lie to them.

That being said, I let them take pictures with the man in the suit when we do "Breakfast with Santa." I let them believe in magic. When they ask, I say something to the effect of "Saint Nicolas was a good man. And he is a living saint in Heaven. He gave to the poor, and I love the magic that stories of him bring to the Christmas season." (except for last year's debacle when I explained that the "magic" Santa isn't real, but Saint Nicolas is. Yeah, that ended in major tears for my eldest, and a complete retraction of what I'd said. Don't judge.)

Evil Elf

But Oh! have I heard comments and read blogs about the notorious "Elf on the Shelf." I've seen different versions - I almost added the Christmas Angel to be Whimsey's friend last year, but then Advent was here, and time and money were not. Thought about it this year, then decided, nah. A Christmas Angel or an elf... it doesn't matter. In truth, I almost added the Christmas Angel because I felt like I'd be deemed less holy or less Christian or less Catholic if I only had our elf.

I read blogs from women that hate the elf because he's creepy (I'll give her that. He is a little creepy at night), or they doesn't feel like messing up and cleaning up - and because kids should have good behavior regardless of whether an elf is watching. Touche.

I read a blog from a Catholic blogger that is totally opposed to letting the little guy in her house because he doesn't encompass anything Catholic OR Christian.

I read blogs from several Catholics and other Christians that say they don't do the elf thing, but will incorporate something similar and more Christian. I think that is a brilliant idea. (In particular, I LOVE the Kindness Elves. Plus, they're way cuter than Whimsey.)
Others can't decide if they want the elf or not.


I was almost jealous when I read this blog, about Wisemen Adventures - where the wisemen try to find Baby Jesus. So fun! Why did I think of that?! But my kids are already attached to Whimsey, so to replace him now would take some careful measures. I think I'll use this wisemen adventure after Christmas, when Whimsey is gone, in the 12 days of Christmas between Christmas Day and Epiphany, to help aid in the joy of Epiphany.  


I understand all those views. And I agree with all of them.

And in all that reading, guess what conclusion I reached? My elf doesn't make my home less Christian. It doesn't make us less Catholic. It isn't good. It isn't bad.  It's just an elf, and we each get to decide which traditions we'll bring into our homes.

Our little guy brings just one more piece of added "WHIMSEY" to our home during the Advent season. We don't focus on the fact that "he's watching and will tell Santa if you're being bad or good." In fact, I've never told my kids that. He doesn't teach my kids how to misbehave. He isn't their "you'd better be good or else" fear factor (which is the main opposition I've found from parents). I don't tell them that he's watching their moves. I don't really tell them anything, actually.

He's just... fun.

Fun Elf

In my home, we do make a point to add Christian Catholic faith in with our little guy. He writes things like "I can't believe it's already time to prepare for Jesus' birthday" and "Happy Advent" and "Honor your father and mother (and siblings)" on his mirror notes and paper letters. He "asks" the kids to pray for him at Holy Mass.

But, even with all that... the elf is just fun!

It is fun for me to find new hiding places. It is fun for me to see thier faces when they discover he threw a "toilet paper party" in the bathroom, and all his little toy friends attended. It is fun for me to dye the milk green and dump out the laundry basket. He's not mean. He's mischevious.

Loosen Up!
I spend SOOO MUUUUCH TIIIIME ALLLL YEAR correcting my kids, yelling at them, making them stay in line and do chores and trying to teach them how to be PERFECT. And, at the end of the year, I just need to be SILLY! In some weird way, this elf is a little reminder to ME to have FUN. To keep my kids children. That a little mischief never hurt anyone. Whimsey helps me let go of my anal OCD, and just let them be kids, and let me have fun putting curiosity and joy on their faces.

Lessons Learned

This stupid elf is a reminder to them (and this lesson is one that I have used several times) that, even when we mess up, we're loved anyway. They see my reaction to Whimsey's mischief. When "he's made a mess", I act disappointed. And then, I say "It's ok. Kids will be kids, and elves will be elves. But you're helping me clean this mess up, because he's YOUR elf..." He's always welcome back. Even last year when he toilet-papered the Christmas tree. No matter the mess, Whimsey is welcome in our home. He's like an example of the prodigal son.. only red, with big eyes and a pointy hat, or something. Okay, maybe that's a stupid analogy, but you get my drift.

Whimsey helps reinforce what I try to teach my kids all the time -  that we love no matter what mistakes and messes are made. We get a clean slate every day. Kind of an important lesson during Advent, as we spend a month in preparation for the coming of our Lord, who died so that, no matter what mistakes and messes are made, we can still experience the joy of the Lord, and the unending celebration in Heaven, because he wipes our slate clean.

That stupid elf reminds us to be CHILDlike... that Advent is a time of fun and joy, and eager anticipation for the birth of Jesus (Whimsey wears a party hat on Christmas Eve. This year, I think he'll leave a gift for baby Jesus. Or possibly have a birthday party for him, with all his "friends" - Barbies, dinosaurs, Little People.).

Whimsey doesn't take the Christ or meaning out of Christmas. He adds to it. And, though he makes a big mess out of some things, he sure does add some fun to my kids' Advent season.

Secular Schmecular

Just like I'll never stop giving my kids candy with the Advent wreath, just like I'll never stop letting my kids Easter egg hunt, just like I'll never stop letting them distribute letters and candy on Saint Valentine's Day, I'll also let Whimsey stick around for as long as their little hearts desire. Because these things help bring added joy and whimsey into these holidays for little minds that are being developed into understanding the TRUE reason for these holidays is Christ and His holy saints... but they are NOT detracting from it.

My children know that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Whimsey doesn't take that away; that creepy little elf adds to the excitement. Just like my children know that Easter is the celebration of His resurrection, and hunting Easter eggs (and looking at that creepy bunny - I'm opposed to the Easter bunny simply for creep factor) adds to the fun of THAT day.

As our children get older, the WORLD will try to suck out their youthful innocence. It will attempt to zap their joy and wonder. The WORLD will kill Whimsey. So, before then, I'll let them have all the fun and believe in all the magic they can. Because they're only little for a little while. And, when they're grown, I am confident that no elf, having one or not having one, is going to form their character.

In the end, regardless of whether you are Christian or Catholic, or neither, I could care less if there is an elf on your shelf. I don't judge your traditions (but I might if they require anything with blood or potions). I don't care if you are Christian, Catholic or not, and you don't incorporate Jesus or Advent AT ALL into your elf tradition. Because, fact of the matter is, it is YOUR tradition.

Please be mindful of the fact that Advent is a time to prepare for Christ Mass, aka Christmas, and respect and honor the birth of Jesus, the Son of God. And that's all.

And, for the sake of all things children, HAVE FUN!



P.S. As far as figuring out whether or not to feel guilty about this elf, I'm over it.

We're all striving for holiness. And until you pray without ceasing, live on only what the Book requires of you, rid your home of anything secular, go to confession at least once a year - but probably more like once a week, have read the entire Bible front to back and back again, have the perfect marriage, never yell at your kids, never spend money on trivial things, never gossip, don't watch or read anything immoral or secular, tithe on a constant basis, do not have pride, anger, lust, envy, gluttony, avarice, or sloth in your life or in your heart... oh, I could go on and on, you don't get to say anything about my elf.

I am ALL ABOUT striving for holiness in every way you know how. And if having an elf on your shelf is going to make you less holy, of COURSE don't get one! But for those of us who do, don't get "holier than thou" on me.

There are MUCH bigger fish to fry. Call me out on my lack of confession, on my overreaction to my kids' behavior, my wandering mind during Mass, the fact that half the time I totally take for granted the mystery and true magic of the Holy Eucharist. Tell me that I should pray more, keep my house cleaner, serve my husband better, strive harder to be a Proverbs 31 woman, get my unhealthy bodily temple in shape. Hold me accountable for my sin. Help rise me up to be holier, better, more loving. Help me laugh more, love more, DO more for my fellow man. 

But, for Pete's sake, leave the elf alone.

Welcome back, Whimsey! Don't do anything toooo bad this year!