I have a problem.
I don't follow through.
I start things, GREAT THINGS, and then.... rarely finish them. Refer to my first post about my A.D.D. if you must. I think that plays in, in a significant way. Now, I've never been clinically diagnosed, and if I were diagnosed, it would probably read something more like "Scatterbrained with ADHD Tendencies." But, fact is, I just... can't. finish.
It is physical. It is mental. It is situational. I get blocked. Like writer's block, but with life. (Unless I'm talking about writing, in which case it is, sometimes, writer's block.)
This ails me.
Thirty Day Whole 30 challenge? I lasted 21 days.
Blog? Speaks for itself.
House Cleaning Challenge I created for myself? I cleaned doorknobs, light switches, and trash cans.
My book? Halfway finished.
Lent? I failed my promise on day one. And day two.
I've lasted in the important things: marriage, childbearing, etc. But all the rest? Not even close. I suppose it is most important to do those things that matter most. And, when it comes to work, I always, always make deadlines and carry out tasks I begin.
But the things I do to better myself: write, read (I don't even start books anymore, because those I actually DO finish, but I neglect every other responsibility in my life), eat clean, exercise, fast, pray... I always start out with gusto, and then, little by little, I whimper away, into nothingness.
I have an exercise dance studio begun. In my head, and in a handful of routines I written out.
I have a daycare opened, theoretically.
I have a book written, somewhere. And it's really, pretty good!
I started a business, and haven't even done anything with THAT. And I LOVE that.
I try to convince myself that it is because job number one is Mom. And that all the rest will fall into place when and where it is supposed to. Today, I'll rest with that, not beat myself up... and pick up on one of these many deserted things - my blog. :)
Love and all that jazz.
J
